Thursday, September 29, 2011

I know its been a while...

Honestly....this shit is hard. I dont know what else to say at this point. Im down to 91 pounds, really sick, every time i play with my kids every little bump or bruise ends up looking like ive been beaten, My immune system is shot, i have an upper respiratory infection and tonsillitis right now, lets see, what else has been going on, OH and last week i had to face a demon that ive kept in for 25 years about my father and things he did to me, enough said. But my worst fear was not facing him and it, it was the fear of having support after it all came out, and of course my mother and husband are 100% supporters for me, but i had a fear of how my brother would react, he was actually very supportive and told me he was proud of me that i finally let it be known. It was a HUGE weight lifted off my LIFE. Since that night i haven't looked back and the nightmares stopped. That was very emotionally hard on top of all the emotions of this lupron, my husband, wow, he is just the most amazing man to me, he is sticking through this with me, he has to see me go through this, he has to see me sick every day, he has to see these pounds shed off, he is just the strongest person i know. My children are so amazing, my children are miracles, i give them every bit of energy i have, by the end of the day my poor husband gets the tired me, but loves me either way and always makes sure i know that. I always make sure he comes home to clean house, no laundry, dinner, i just feel so grateful of him as any wife would and does. It has been A HELL of a last few weeks, and my next injection is next week, i hope it gets better, just trying to keep my head above water...My family needs me strong and thats the only way ill be.....I got this.

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